Latest Tweets:

(Source: batpigandme, via thesithlord)

overlypolitebisexual:

cat people: dogs are cool too
dog people: cats don’t feel love did you know a cat once MURDERED my MOTHER

(via realisticunt)

*2

One night, I bought “mouth whitening” wash thinking it was regular mouthwash (spoilers: it’s not, it’s the worst thing ever). Since then, I bought proper mouthwash, and that’s going great.  

So now I have both of these bottles on my bathroom counter and they’re taking up space. Science side of tumblr: Can I combine these into one all powerful mouth cleaning potion and win some sort of award for my contributions to society, or will I be punished for trying to play god and create a supreme unrestricted fluid that will surely cause an explosion that will level every building within a 30 mile radius? Will the resulting explosion grant me superpowers?

Thank you in advance.

(Source: sandandglass, via whatawaytoexist)

I don’t get it when people act tough, I don’t understand it. To me, when you act tough you’re just saying, “Hey! I’ve been though a lot of horrible stuff in my life. And I survived it, and now I’m ready to attack anybody, like a Pit Bull.” — I want a demeanor that says, “I’ve never been through anything at all, and I’m just a Pug, riding a decorative pillow. Where will I go today, who knows? But, I shall be carried.

(Source: death2vega, via stand-up-comic-gifs)

worstcats:

Things that are good about cats
soft fur
cute face
fluffy tail
adorable
dry
This cat fails on all levels

worstcats:

Things that are good about cats

  • soft fur
  • cute face
  • fluffy tail
  • adorable
  • dry

This cat fails on all levels

(via kimkardashingthroughtthesnow)

anthonymackies:

Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peele photographed by Peter Hapak for Variety Emmy Studio.

(via staychilljustbreathe)

nichatnight:

iverbz:

yungfoodstamps:

woooooooooo

STUNTIN ON NIGGAS IN THE NAME OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

that boy searching for life

This is the true origin story for the Winter Soldier.

nichatnight:

iverbz:

yungfoodstamps:

woooooooooo

STUNTIN ON NIGGAS IN THE NAME OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

that boy searching for life

This is the true origin story for the Winter Soldier.

One of my favorite Simpson quotes

(Source: mysimpsonsblogisgreaterthanyours, via ruinedchildhood)